Most ISOC's hold a "girls and boys" talk that they schedule for around Valentine's Day. Ours was held this week, (on Tuesday), so this post is slightly overdue (!) This post is a brief description of what was said in the talk:
The Sheikh began by explaining that there are two types of desire: sexual desire (desire of the private parts) and desire of the stomach- which includes eating as well as fulfilling all worldly desires. Allah (swt) has placed a certain amount of lust and desire inside every human; to different degrees. In the same way, Allah has placed emotions such as anger within all humans, but to different extents too. It is worthless trying to eliminate completely such feelings, however, what is achievable is to control them in the best way. Because all Humans are instilled with such desire, we should not feel shame that we feel the desires, but what we should be ashamed of is how we choose to act on them.
He mentioned how in Surah Al-Fatihah, we pray that Allah keeps us on the straight path (seerat al-mustaqeem). For Muslims, the straight path is the moderate path, between the two extremes. Allah has created Islam as a moderate religion, in order that no burden may be placed upon its followers.
In relation to sexual desire, he went into detail the two extremes that there are, and Islam's view on it. On the one extreme, we have celibacy which is practiced by Catholic Nuns or Christian Priests. They follow a complete no-sex policy as they devote their lives to God. Although this is not advocated by Islam, many famous Scholars and Muhaddith (those who teach Hadith), such as An-Nawawi who compiled the famous "40 Hadiths" and many more remained unmarried as they devoted their lives to Islaam.
On the other hand, we have a scenario which society is (unfortuantely) becoming now, in which there is promiscuity and wide-spread sleeping around in which people will do anything (I won't go into detail) in order to fulfil their sexual desires.
On the moderate, Islamic path, sex is permitted within marital relationships only. It is considered as a Sadaqah, and the couple get rewarded. One of the Sahabah (companions of the Prophet) asked the Prophet (saws) as he was amazed that it is rewarded. The Prophet (saws) answered that when one commits Zina (sexual relations outside marriage), you are punished and gain sins. So surely, the oppposited, permitted relations would be rewarded.
He briefly also mentioned that the youth of today are under the impression that they are allowed to mess around now, and that they will change later once they settle down and get married. He warned us that many studies have been conducted of those who have certain habits in their teenage years and are unable to change, or remain faithful even once they are married. So now is the time to change and to become the person you want to be.
Some questions were asked, along the lines of "I'm in a relationship now, what should I do." He answered saying, either end it now and tell the other person it's over, or, if you can, then get your parents involved and get married. He was very understaning, and mentioned how he knows that parents- especially Asian parents can be a hindrance when young people wish to get married. Someone also asked what if you have already committed zina already, what should you do? He outlined the steps of Forgiveness which are firstly you should be sincere and understand what you have done is wrong, secondly you should pray to Allah that he forgives you and thirdly you should make a pledge never ever to commit that sin again. You should remember that Allah is oft-forgiving, most merciful.
That's about it really. Any mistakes in the above text are my own, and inshaAllah I hope you benefited from it.
Here are some related videos which I watched a while back that I think are relevant, watch all three parts inshaAllah:
11 comments:
Interesting, thanks for posting. I went through a similar conference back when I was in Uni at an East zone conference in florida. After it was over, a lot of people started seeking each other for engagements lol
Alhamdullilah Nuby, thanks for posting this! what a reminder for all of us! :)
this really was interesting. i wish something like this took place where i live!
@Umm Sou Sou: hah that's funny! When I came back from this talk, my Mum was joking and saying so, have you got any proposals then?
@Syierah Nuar: Alhamdulillah glad you benefited from it
@Furree Katt: glad you liked it
amazing post mashallah:)..thanks for sharing it..Xxx
http://al-motahajiba.blogspot.com/
Thanks for the info :) mashallah, it's great that you're spreading the word :)
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Day By Diva
Great post mann! Very well written (Y)
Its awesome that you get to attend such talks, I think its very important that we talk about these topics rather than shoving them under the carpet and pretending everything is fine and dandy.
[PS: 6th paragraph, im sure its meant to say Sahabah. Sorry! The English student in me couldn't help it :P]
@Amel: glad you liked it
@Sanam & @Constructive Attitude: you're welcome :)
@Smiley: thank you! completely agree with you. hehe thanks for pointing that out- this post was typed in a bit of a rush when I was pretty tired & hungry :)
Excellent post!
The problem that many youngsters have today is that when they want to ask questions, the elders tell them to be quiet / look down on them.
There should be no barriers, and everyone should be allowed to discuss what they wish to discuss openly and freely, which I think is the best way to remove misconceptions.
Thank you for sharing
:)
I went to a Fiqh of Marriage seminar over the weekend and your 2nd - 6th paragraph was exactly the same as some of the material we covered! Good recap :)
Interesting read :)
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