Friday, 22 January 2010



So, I was disappointed at the failure at my first weight loss attempt. My Mum said it was probably because I only exercised and didn't make any dietary changes. So that gave me a kind of epiphany.
I thought that because I hadn't made any changes to my diet was the reason I didn't succeed. But this time, oddly enough, I would change my diet and NOT exercise. I guess I saw it as the easier option. Growing up as a teenage girl, it was normal to be self-conscious about your body, as it was pumped into us through the media and magazines etc.

First, I started off by skipping breakfast- what was I thinking?!? Then, gradually I would skip lunch or eat a piece of apple, a yoghurt or even nothing at all. I would make sandwiches to make my Mum think I was still eating normally. And I would throw them away at school (may God forgive me for wasting food). My only proper meal became dinner which, coming from a traditional Pakistani family, would usually be chappatti with some sort of curry. I would either eat it, or eat some or pretend I wasn't hungry.

Overall, I managed to drop to around 8 stones. I was happy but it was never enough. I had to keep going. I became obsessed with my weight, I was weighing myself at least once a day- if not more.

I was not pleased with my weight loss results, I wanted more. I am a very critical person by nature, so I didn't give myself credit or reward myself. I still felt fat even though 8 stones was the lightest I can remember myself being. Looking back on pictures, my figure was alright then. Part of the reason why I wasn't happy was because I thought that losing weight meant that I could wear jeans again or buy some nice new clothes, but that did not happen. So I just kept going. Food was the only real thing I was in control of in my life; I was doing OK at school but wasn't the cleverest kid. But this couldn't carry on forever.

At the end of year 8, I went to the Lake District with school. It was the best, if you have ever been to Lake District you will know what I am talking about. It was so scenic and beatiful (subhanallah). We did activites such as rock-climbing, zip-wire, hiking and canoeing. I then realised that although I might had lost a lot of weight, my fitness levels were still quite poor, althought they were better than last years'.

Slowly, this "regime" vanished, due to holidays and such.

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