Wednesday, 5 October 2011

A personal breakthrough

I know I haven't blogged in forever. I'm back at university now, and started a new job so just been settling in. Plus my notebook that I normally blog from became realllyy slow, so just today I received a shiny new laptop, Alhamdulillah, so blogging should resume as normal God willing. I'm also Politics editor of our student newspaper, so I'm busy writing and editing for that. Once we have content up online, I'll notify you all of the link.

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Anway- this post. Today I did something I haven't done for over a decade.

I wore denim

I wore jeans

Jeans on my legs!!

You might wear jeans every day. But for me, this is a personal breakthrough, because I haven't worn jeans in over ten years.

Why? When I was about eight, my Mum banned me from wearing jeans as I kept putting on weight. She said if I continued putting on weight she'd ban me, and she did. I was really upset but being a kid, there was nothing I could do.

Growing up, I looked at the jeans in department stores longingly, begging my Mum to let me show her they'd look alright on me. But it was no use.

So for more than ten years, almost twelve years (I think) I haven't felt denim on my legs. I've worn black trousers or skirts instead. Which is fine. But part of me always longed for denim.

Some of you may know that last year, I began my weight loss journey. I've lost almost 2 stone so far and have dropped a dress size. Two weeks ago, I decide to bite the bullet, and try on some jeans. I tried some on in Primark but none of them were any good and I became a little disheartened. A few days later, I tried another store and tried on almost every style of jeans. I bought a pair of boyfriend jeans from Peacocks as they seemed to fit quite well.

I was so apprehensive about telling my Mum I'd bought the jeans. I almost didn't want to. She was so shocked at why I'd wanted to wear them. I explained to her and showed her that they did not make me look "fat". My Mum thinks that jeans don't suit overweight people as it makes them look fatter. I don't get her logic. Anyway, she said they looked ok but wasn't exactly like "yeahh they look nice!" Anyway, I asked her to adjust them for me as they were too long.

And today, I decided to finally wear them. I can't really explain to you how I felt.

I felt free.
I felt liberated.
I felt normal.

I kept looking at people's legs to see what they were wearing, and almost 90% or more were wearing jeans. I didn't mind wearing trousers but I felt they are too smart; jeans are more casual. My new jeans are a reminder of the weight I've lost, as a celebratory reminder, and also remind me of the journey I still have ahead of me. I'm proud of myself for getting this far, and this achievement should encourage me to continue to lose weight.

On a different note, I never expected that jeans would keep you so warm!

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